Tuesday and we start again

Dear friends, it's Tuesday the 30th of September and we start again, 9 more chemo's over the next 11 weeks then another c.t. scan. I can't believe it's only just over 3 months since that dreadful day when they said the cancer had returned, it feels like a year already! Any of you who have gone through something like this will understand.You have good days , you have bad days, you have days where you want to fight you have days when you don't want to bother anymore, but fight we must. So it was a slightly subdued Lainey that went back to the infusion suite to get hooked up today, the nurse asked her 'are you ok" Lainey said , "you know i really don't feel like doing this today'.Of course this is a totally normal reaction to starting another round of treatments, and she was told "something would really be wrong with her if she didn't feel this way from time to time.
I was very happy last week when we got the good c.t. results, Lainey "wants to be happy" but i think is still suffering from the shock of everything that's happened to her in the past 15+months.
This is what i/we hope, that she will improve some more from these treatments to the point that we can take a break in the early new year. I hope she can improve to where she can enjoy her life a little without constant fear.
We went to Stanford yesterday where they seem to fill in all the gaps for us information wise, they were encouraging and very pleased with the progress. the doctor said , realistically, 'hopefully after the next c.t. scan in January , we will have the luxury of discussing reducing the chemo treatments." That's going to be a big choice, if it diminishes the cancer to nothing, (which would in actual fact be fantastic) do we keep her on chemo to prevent it coming back, but live with the side effects or do we take a break and risk it coming back between 3 month c.t. scans? Not a great choice as either way impacts the quality of life or raises the risk factor. Well hopefully , as he said, we'll have the luxury of that dilemma. When i think that she was given 3-6 months to live w/o chemo 3 + months ago and here we are with a 50% reduction in tumor size i should be jumping through hoops. A real problem is sheer physical fatigue, and an emotional hammering for both of us, we just want to have a 'normal" life back. So my dear friends, i/we need you, we need you to raa raa us on, we need you to help us to have the strength and courage to keep on fighting and take back our life. We thank you for all your support, if you can please e-mail us or post on the blog words of encouragement.
love you all ,even those of you such as the friends we don't know in Colorado that apparently check in to see how we are doing, take care, and cherish the gift of life, love Keith and Lainey.