Monday, November 24, 2008

Big day big week big help needed

Dear friends, we start the next episode this week. I want to make sure everyone knows how serious Lainey's situation is. I don't post too much about this as Lainey reads this blog and i don't want to scare her. But many people see Lainey and say 'how can she be so sick, she doesn't look sick". Lainey has stage 4 ovarian cancer that has metastecised to her liver and it's growing.She is platinum resistant, which means many chemos won't work on her cancer. She is in a lot of pain, she is tired, depressed, weak,scared, anxious,shocked, distressed, sad, the list could go on and on.
Due to her current situation she has to be very careful.We've decided now she must stay away from the meetings for the winter , she will listen in by phone. She absolutely can not risk exposure to sickness, it would be a disaster. Every week when she goes in for chemo she has to pass a medical to be pronounced for for chemo. If her temperature is too high, is she is ill, if her counts are too low she can not get the life preserving treatment she needs.
We need your love and support. Phone calls , cards, meals,scheduled visits, so she is not totally cut off from the world. She needs to not feel forgotten. She may not be strong enough to answer the phone but she love's to hear your voices, and i need to know we are still loved and thought about.
Today we go to Stanford. Realistically there are not many treatment options, but if they have anything else to offer we will take it. Today i hope to make contact with a Doctor in Reno. We hope to go see him next week and if all works out we will probably spend the month of December there getting daily treatments. I am pulling out all the stops to try to get Lainey's cancer under control.
We are under a huge amount of stress, if you can imagine the current economic situation, add to it you can't get work or do work because you have to take care of your wife, add to it the medical costs, which after insurance are still tens of thousands of dollars, add to it the pain and sorrow of just going through this with the one you love,add to it the loss of everything normal in life that we usually take for granted, add to it the isolation and fatigue due to daily medical needs and procedures, add to it the sheer sadness of the whole situation, add to it we have been fighting this now since July of 2007, imagine all that and you start to imagine how we feel. The stress alone does weird things to your mind and body, you develop stomach problems, digestive problems, you feel dizzy, tired, unable to think, unable to remember, unable to do simple tasks. You mourn the abilities you had just 2 years ago, you mourn the future planning and growing that you wanted to do. You fall into a rut of getting through each day.
That is why kind words, hugs, emotional support are huge. If you don't know what to say , just say i love you , and give me a hug. Tell me i'm doing a good job, tell lainey how much you love and admire her for her spiritual strength and courage.
As you can tell we are in a new place mentally and emotionally, it's a desperate place where you cling to hope and pray for relief. Nothing is normal for us and it never will be again.
In the future i will need all the love and support i can get, behind my smile is a heart that has already broken, please excuse me/us if we aren't capable of normal, we wish we were.
My dear friends, we are not the only ones who suffer, this world is full of pain and suffering, do all you can to show love, kindness and mildness to others, after all Micah 6:8 say's : "He has told you o earthling man what is good and what is Jehovah asking back from you but to exercise justice, and to love kindness and be modest in walking with your god" to me that scripture says it all !
In closing take care of your families, they are precious, take care of those in need, and there are many, and "Never give up in doing what is fine,for in due time we shal reap ,if we do not tire out"

We Love you ,all you kindhearted people, family, brothers and sisters Love Keith and Lainey

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