Bad but could be worse

Dear friends, saw doctors yesterday to discuss c.t. scan. we feared they would say there was nothing else they could do, but the verdict was a marked increase again in the number and size of the metasteses in her liver. The largest of about 30 metasteses is about 8.5 c.m. it was 1.5 c.m. in September.
They have to take her off Doxil as it is doing nothing and put her on Topotecan, we are getting to the end of available choices for chemo's. She will start her new chemo next Tuesday and will have it weekly. It was her decision to keep fighting and keep doing chemo, she is incredible !!!!
So i fear time is severely reduced unless one of these last 2 chemo has an effect. The other problem is if she can continue to handle the toxicity and side effects of the .
I honestly thought i was loosing her to the inevitable liver failure last week, and she is in a lot of pain and suffering from complete loss of appetite and nausea and fatigue. If you can please call me on my cell, if you want to be a part of Lainey's final chapter i think now is the time to join in, it may be weeks, may be months, but i'd be surprised if it's longer than months unless we have a miracle turn around with the topotecan,
well there you have it, my life is surreal right now, and it is a great comfort to see and be around friends, i will desperately need you later when i find myself alone, i'm not one to be alone, can't handle it, so i'll need all my buddies to keep me from going down the tubes, that's as honest as i can be, love you all , Keith.

Dark days are here

Dear friends , tried to post last night and it came out all jumbled , don't know what happened.Anyway I'll try again , but please understand I'm very tired and it's hard to write this stuff. Lainey had an e.r. c.t. scan yesterday. We get the results at 11:15 this morning. It looks like things are getting out of hand. her liver is inflamed and enlarged and her liver enzymes are off the chart, they think the new chemo they gave her may be doing it . We need to know , what it means, can she have a different chemo, is the liver damage reversible or permanent. Lainey wants to fight on ,I'll do all i can to help her.Well we'll post the results when we can , love to all Keith.

Saturday night slight improvement

Dear friends forgive me for not updating but we have had several days from hell. Lainey spent all day and night Thursday and Friday dry heaving over the bathroom sink. She has not been able to eat hardly anything. She is tired, weak and very nauseated. That's the readers digest version, we did not sleep at all Wednesday or Thursday nights. Last night (Friday ) she was given some meds to sleep and it knocked her out. Today she was marginally better, couldn't get up till 5 pm and then only to lay on sofa and watch a movie with me.
So many friends called and or stopped by today, sorry i couldn't let you in , but Lainey simply did not have the strength to see people and i have to yield first to her needs.
Thank you Robert and Theresa for your love and support and encouragement.
Thank you Charlie ans Sheryl and Konrad and Grace for stopping by. Thank you Christina and Jeremy for trying to see Lainey. Thank you Marika, Carmen , Anita,Dad, Renee, Debbie,Ray, Kevin, for the kind calls. Thank you Boonie ( Danielle) ever faithful to your Lainey friend.
Combined you all made the day more bearable.
I hope Lainey sleeps tonight and wakes feeling a little stronger and able to eat tomorrow.
I/we need your encouragement to strengthen us to face the trials ahead, i need your help to take care of Lainey and keep my mind intact, so thank you all for your love, understanding and compassion. Take care , good night, Keith.

Wed eve doing a bit better

Dear friends it's Wednesday evening and Lainey is a bit better. Temperature is finally under control and her appetite is returning.
We just had 2 dear friends from Connecticut ( don't know how to spell that since it's not a real English word) stop by to see us, Jeff and Lydia Micallizi. So good to see friends persevering in the truth after all these years, they've been married 30 years and Lydia still looks way better than Jeff :-). Seriously thanks for coming by to visit.
Well we hope this next week will see an improvement, take care and stay close to the truth, and do not give up doing what is fine, Gal 6;9,10. Love K and E

Lainey not strong enough for chemo

We went to the doctors yesterday but Lainey still has a fever and is too weak/ill to have chemo. She was disappointed but it's best to play it safe. We now have to build her up so she can keep fighting. Times are tough at the Lellybelly house, fighting despair and defeat, hope we can turn a corner and see some improvement, love to all Keith.

Tuesday hopefully chemo day

We are off to doctors today for tests and a medical to see if lainey is passed fit for chemo. She hopes to be able to resume but is tired of feeling so bad all the time.
So pray for her to have courage , strength and endurance as we go through the day, love to all Keith.

Sunday morning blues

Dear friends it's Sunday morning and Lainey is very down. I'm trying to get her not to give up. I asked her if she thinks it's over , she said yes, , that she's just waiting for more bad news to come.
Thank you Eija for the encouraging words, i read them to Lainey and she perked up a little. It's true isn't it, dogs never give up, if only we could be more like them, and as they say 'if only i could be the man my dog thinks i am" !!!
Our dog Twizzle who died a couple of years ago had a seizure, she was paralised on one side of her body by the time she got to the vets, she was still licking my hand and wagging her tail as they put her to sleep. Oh the spirit, half our problems are what we do with stuff we know in our heads.
So pray that i can find the inspiration to pick my up and get her ready to fight on, she doesn't need pity she needs encouragement and cheerleading. We will prevail if we do not give up !
Well that's it for this morning, Eija ( a dear friend in Colorado ) needs daily updates so there you go Eija , love you all Keith.