Dark days are here

Dear friends , tried to post last night and it came out all jumbled , don't know what happened.Anyway I'll try again , but please understand I'm very tired and it's hard to write this stuff. Lainey had an e.r. c.t. scan yesterday. We get the results at 11:15 this morning. It looks like things are getting out of hand. her liver is inflamed and enlarged and her liver enzymes are off the chart, they think the new chemo they gave her may be doing it . We need to know , what it means, can she have a different chemo, is the liver damage reversible or permanent. Lainey wants to fight on ,I'll do all i can to help her.Well we'll post the results when we can , love to all Keith.

Saturday night slight improvement

Dear friends forgive me for not updating but we have had several days from hell. Lainey spent all day and night Thursday and Friday dry heaving over the bathroom sink. She has not been able to eat hardly anything. She is tired, weak and very nauseated. That's the readers digest version, we did not sleep at all Wednesday or Thursday nights. Last night (Friday ) she was given some meds to sleep and it knocked her out. Today she was marginally better, couldn't get up till 5 pm and then only to lay on sofa and watch a movie with me.
So many friends called and or stopped by today, sorry i couldn't let you in , but Lainey simply did not have the strength to see people and i have to yield first to her needs.
Thank you Robert and Theresa for your love and support and encouragement.
Thank you Charlie ans Sheryl and Konrad and Grace for stopping by. Thank you Christina and Jeremy for trying to see Lainey. Thank you Marika, Carmen , Anita,Dad, Renee, Debbie,Ray, Kevin, for the kind calls. Thank you Boonie ( Danielle) ever faithful to your Lainey friend.
Combined you all made the day more bearable.
I hope Lainey sleeps tonight and wakes feeling a little stronger and able to eat tomorrow.
I/we need your encouragement to strengthen us to face the trials ahead, i need your help to take care of Lainey and keep my mind intact, so thank you all for your love, understanding and compassion. Take care , good night, Keith.

Wed eve doing a bit better

Dear friends it's Wednesday evening and Lainey is a bit better. Temperature is finally under control and her appetite is returning.
We just had 2 dear friends from Connecticut ( don't know how to spell that since it's not a real English word) stop by to see us, Jeff and Lydia Micallizi. So good to see friends persevering in the truth after all these years, they've been married 30 years and Lydia still looks way better than Jeff :-). Seriously thanks for coming by to visit.
Well we hope this next week will see an improvement, take care and stay close to the truth, and do not give up doing what is fine, Gal 6;9,10. Love K and E

Lainey not strong enough for chemo

We went to the doctors yesterday but Lainey still has a fever and is too weak/ill to have chemo. She was disappointed but it's best to play it safe. We now have to build her up so she can keep fighting. Times are tough at the Lellybelly house, fighting despair and defeat, hope we can turn a corner and see some improvement, love to all Keith.

Tuesday hopefully chemo day

We are off to doctors today for tests and a medical to see if lainey is passed fit for chemo. She hopes to be able to resume but is tired of feeling so bad all the time.
So pray for her to have courage , strength and endurance as we go through the day, love to all Keith.

Sunday morning blues

Dear friends it's Sunday morning and Lainey is very down. I'm trying to get her not to give up. I asked her if she thinks it's over , she said yes, , that she's just waiting for more bad news to come.
Thank you Eija for the encouraging words, i read them to Lainey and she perked up a little. It's true isn't it, dogs never give up, if only we could be more like them, and as they say 'if only i could be the man my dog thinks i am" !!!
Our dog Twizzle who died a couple of years ago had a seizure, she was paralised on one side of her body by the time she got to the vets, she was still licking my hand and wagging her tail as they put her to sleep. Oh the spirit, half our problems are what we do with stuff we know in our heads.
So pray that i can find the inspiration to pick my up and get her ready to fight on, she doesn't need pity she needs encouragement and cheerleading. We will prevail if we do not give up !
Well that's it for this morning, Eija ( a dear friend in Colorado ) needs daily updates so there you go Eija , love you all Keith.

Saturday am blues

Dear friends, Lainey is resting at home trying to build her strength to resume chemo.
She is on oxygen 24/7 and feels like she is sliding backwards. If you can call me and come and visit her and please encourage her not to give up the fight. She needs encouragement that she can fight back and keep living for years not weeks or months. If there is any advice/help you can give me to be an inspiration for her please do. I am understandably tired and beaten up but i need to be her beacon of light and laughter, so please help me/us to get our momo back. Love to all Keith.

p.s. thank you Debra for the beautiful card from Paris and Karen for the package from England and Nona for you kind words and gift card from Washington. Thank you Jathan for the letter which i will treasure the rest of my life.We are being touched by beautiful people all over the world,some of whom we've never met, we love you all Keith.

home safe

Dear friends , Lainey is home safe. we escaped just before the snow hit again. We had to wait for oxygen tanks for the trip home. There is concern over how much oxygen she's getting in her lungs, plus the risk of pnuemonia. She'll be on oxygen for at least a few days until we see the doctors down here. Also we'll see if she's past fit for chemo next week, she really has taken a beating this week. She is very immune suppressed so if anyone comes to visit be aware she can't hug you or shake your hand. We have to focus on getting her strong now so she can deal with chemo. Basically we've been told barring a miracle she will be on chemo to suppress the spread of the cancer for the rest of her life. So it's a big burger to chew on.
Well just wanted to let so many caring people know we are home safe. we are both very tired and a little disoriented so excuse if we don't communicate very well. we are just trying to deal with it one day at a time.
Hope to see you all at the hall soon, lainey will obviously stay at home, if anyone wants to volunteer to sit with her and listen in over the phone that would be greatly appreciated.
mum leaves on the 30th , she been fantastic, i don't know how we could have coped without her.
Well as you can imagine lots to sort out after being away for 3 weeks, love to everyone, a very grateful Keith.

We are so out of here

we are out of here in an hour or two, huge thanks for all your love ansd support, last post till later tonight, thank you big to the wonderful friends in Reno, love you all Kman

Rollercoaster continues

Just met with doctor 9pm. Says he does not think temp is from an infection. He thinks its tumor related and that the altitude is causing the symptoms to be elevated. Wants us to go tomorrow morning Thursday, with oxygen to get over mountain. Believes lainey will be much more comfortable at a lower elevation, halelujah !

My job to keep her temp down overnight,

She'll be weak and tired, her red count is low, and the pleural effusion is probably malignant tumor fluid that is coming through the walls from the liver/abdomen into the lower lung area. Got to make sure that is kept at a minimun, doctors in San Ramon may choose to drain it, as long as it doesn't increase in volume the main problem will be malignant cells in fluid in vicinity of the lung. Only thing to do about that is try to whoop it with chemo.
Lainey's cancer is very aggressive, we'll beat it up as long as we safely can, at some point she may have to decide if the battering her body takes at the hands of the chemo is worth the taking.

Cancer stinks bring the ultimate cure Jehovah , Rev 21:3,4

Thanks for all the love and support, calls ,texts,e-mails, cards, i can feel the support lifting us up to endure things we never could on our own. BIG LOVE Keith

Wont be leaving Thursday

Won't be leaving Thursday, maybe Sat or Sun, Lainey's fever 103.2
Can't answer calls , too busy with lainy's care.
E-mail me i am way over on my allotment for texting, pray she can get home this weekend, i don't want something bad to happen here, if that's to be it needs to be at home, pray pray pray, just for her to get home forst please, love Keith 6;20 pm

Wed morning update

Lainy slept soundly all through the night, woke up feisty ;-) gave her a bed bath, enjoyed by both her and nurse keefer. Only big issue is temperature, woke up 101.6 (before the bedbath !!!).
Hope we can bring that down, still plan on Thursday am escape from the mountains.Later Keith.


p.s. little Jack Dallman saw Lainey's photo on this blog sais " is that Lainey's fancy hair" you gotta love kids,
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continued improvement

More good news, ct scan showed that the fluid in lungs was very small amount, whereas chest x ray made it look like a large amount, ( 1 third to 1 half of lung )dotors say fluid is bi product of cancer in liver but nothing else.Fluid is not sufficient to warrent removal.
it appears Elaine has an upper respitory infection, (sinus),and an outside possibility that pneumonia was starting when we first arrived, but she's clear of pneumonia now.Having to do breathing exercises as the lungs are not perfrming properly yet.
Dr said goal to send lainey home Thursday morning with a weeks worth of antibiotics.
Alternative therapy will be suspended till May, after winter/flu/cold season is over.
Lainey should be able to resume main war with chemo starting again next Tuesday.
As many people have said, Lainey needs to fight back and fight on.
So we've dodged a bullet, infections and pneumonia are very dangerous obviously when you ar immune suppressed.
Thanks for the incredible support, BIG LOVE, Keith

C.t.scan no cancer in lungs !!!!!!!

Dear friends , just got c.t. scan results, fluid in lungs but no sign of cancer !!!!!!
Wel that's one bullet dodged. Now got to get that fluid out and hope it's not infected,will ket you know more as i can

Taken a turn for the worse Lainey in hospital

Dear friends Lainey has taken a turn for the worse. Over the weekend her discomfort increased,at 7 pm on Sunday evening her temperature spiked to 103. We rushed her to hospital, she was admitted at 2 am this morning (Monday)
We had a chest x ray done which showed pleural effusion. She has a large resevoir of fluid around the bottom half of her right lung. She has to have it drained tomorrow morning , which hopefully will relieve the pressure and enable her to breath easier.
We just had c.t. scans done of the brain, chest and abdomen. We should get results late tonight or early tomorrow a.m.
She has some kind of infection that is causing the fever, they are treating it with 3 kinds of antibiotics. They are testing for various diseases.
The fluid is the body producing it in response to the cancer, it may be from the existing cancer in the adjacent liver, or it may be from a new secondary site, (ie lungs) we will know when ct scan results come back.
I’m hoping to get her fever/infection under control and drain fluid and high tail it back to Pleasanton by Friday.
We need to be with our closest friends , family, doctors, support group. The friends in Tahoe have been amazing but there is no place like home under these circumstances.
I hope we can resume chemo in Walnut Creek next Tuesday but that remains to be seen.So many unanswered questions.
I am praying the cancer has not spread to her lungs.
She is calm, strong and dignified. She is in relatively no pain now and the temp is under conrol, last night at it’s peak she was shaking uncontrollably.
My little sweeheart has fought so hard so long, she is like a little kitten that hurt no one and is being kicked around by a gang of thugs. She is beaten and battered but will be victorious, she will maintain her integrity and loyalty to Jehovah God to the end and thus look forward to a resurrection to paradise.
Please, as I know you do ,pray for peace, a calm heart , strength, faith and courage for both of us but especially for my baby .
I am on the verge of emotional collapse but that will come later, right now I have to be her support, comfort and guardian. I will do all I humanly can to take care of her.
If we make it back to town , please come and share your love with her/us. Hopefully this is all premature and my little angel from Brooklyn will bounce back again, if not I pray her pain will end quickly and peacefully.
I’m going to be a royal mess, she’ll be asleep but I’ll be in my own living hell. So I’ll need lots of understanding friends for a while. I will bounce back and will not forsake the truth in my grief, I owe that to my courageous wife and many others of faith who have gone before.I'll close now, excuse that i can't field calls, im on 24 hour Lainey watch and care.
Love you all always Keith

Friday night update

Dear friends it’s Friday night and I’ll give you a quick update. Lainey made it through another week but it was very hard. She had 1 relatively good day Thursday. Today she was pretty desperate emotionally, it’s such a hard drawn out battle for her .
We would not be able to make it without the power of the Sovereign of the universe and the help he provides.
Thank you so much Chris and Kate Kolodziej for letting us stay in your beautiful home. For making us feel welcome and your generous hospitality.You and the dogs :-)have made us feel loved and secure (and well licked ).
Thank you Neal and Susie, finally we got to meet these two wonderful friends today. They let us stay in their home while they were gone and they had never even met us. Well upon meeting you we can tell you are gifts from Jehovah, full of love and compassion, may Jehovah help you through your trial too !!!
Thank you Marika for calling and mailing and sending flowers.
Thank you Ray, Art, Sylvia,Mum , Dad,Sam,Deven,Matt, Cheryl,Debbie P, Debbie Z,Robin , Dianna,and all the other friends for writing to us and calling.
Thank you Eija for checking in almost everyday with words of love and encouragement.
And thank you Danielle aka “Boonie” for being the greatest friend ( Boonie is flying in on Sunday for 8 hours and flying out the same day because she “just had to see her Laineyfriend” that’s amazing love and kindness.
I can’t think of much else to say except I know in my mental exhaustion iv’e neglected to thank many others that I should.
So thank you everyone, I know friends in many countries are praying specifically for us in France, Englnd, Mexico, USA to name a few, some we don’t even know personally.
You are all examples o the very best of humankind and a tribute to the God who made us in his image.
So good night and may the peace and joy and love of Jehovah God be with you ,your Bro , Keith

Wednesday and we are halfway through

Dear friends it's Wednesday and we are halfway through treatments. The sun is still shining in reno, bad for the skiers good for us. I'm hoping Lainey will turn the corner again and start to feel better.
Want to thank all the dear friends fro the calls and e-mails, you all mean so much to us, can't wait to be home so we can see you all again.Well i'll say more later, just big hugs and kisses all around, only problem is when i give Ray Oberlin a hug i get a face full of belly button!!! Either he's gonna have to shrink or i'm going to have to grow in the new world, maybe we'll meet halfway,nah 5'ft 6 is the perfect height, get ready to hem your pants Ray :-) XXXXXX Keith

Monday night update

Dear friends, Lainey had a rough weekend but she is marginally better today. We are pinning a lot of hope on the Salicinium and Poly Mva products that she is receiving. After 3 weeks of infusions she will take both products everyday for the rest of her life.Some people have had great success with them especially in conjunction with regular chemo, we live and hope. The stuff is crazy expensive though , i think the oral pills and liquid are going to run over a thousand dollars a month ! But we place a value on things and my Lainey is priceless to me , so as long as i can pay for it she'll get whatever she needs.
This system is insane, you don't know till it happens to you. Already in the past year and a half the insurance has paid over a million dollars in covered medical bills for Lainey, so my advice to anyone is ,if you don't have insurance get it and fast, i would put having health insurance ahead of owning a house, without insurance i would be wiped out and then what good would my house be to me then . The Bible was written a long time ago , so where we are counselled to be content with "sustenance and covering" if that were written now it would say "sustenance, health insurance and covering" !!!!
Friends if you are in good health never take it for granted, if you are ill our hearts go out to you.
Here goes a huge kiss to the Cueto's,Sister Glei, Sister Jenkins,and any other friends who are suffering, soon pain
and suffering and tears will be no more, i'll be 5ft 6"(which is the perfect height) and Lainey and i will have 30 kids!!!! ( My version of Revelation 21:3,4) :-)
Well stay happy and show love at every opportunity, and remember this life is not all there is, so don't get caught up in this decaying world, draw close to Jehovah and live!

Love you all Keith

P.s love to Debbie Zimmerman, heard you are under the weather too, hope you are well soon, lots of love to the Ron man :-)

Saturday and we are a third of the way through

Dear friends,
It’s Saturday morning and it’s been quite a week. Lainey was in such a bad way when we arrived on Monday. As you can imagine going to a cancer clinic where pretty much everyone around you is stage 4 is quite depressing. We go to an infusion suite where about 8 patients are hooked up. The whole scene is awful and one I hope you never have to witness. Everyone is very courageous, but there is an underlying fear /sadness in everyone’s eyes. Oh my how we need the kingdom to do away with sickness and .
For those of us in relatively good health we soldier on somewhat oblivious of the pain and suffering that’s going on in the world. Stats say that 50% of men an 33% of women will get cancer in the USA. That’s just plain terrifying. I know my vision is colored by all the sickness I’ve witnessed in the past year and a half, but this life is so sad, there is something better, and the only hope for mankind for true long lasting health and happiness is God’s kingdom.How I/we could ever take this gift for granted and get caught up in this system astounds me. I guess we all live with the “it’ll never happen to me “syndrome. So friends, stick close to the truth and preach the good news to the sad and desperate people of this system, we all need it so badly.

Lainey had a bad day yesterday (Friday), we were battling with keeping her temperature down. I hope she wakes feeling better this morning, I’m desperate to see some relief. I said to her last night , “what do you want me to pray for” she said “relief”.Just a small improvement would be a relief. I also pray everyday for faith, courage, endurance, power, strength, wisdom and love.

Well this weekend will be what it will be, hopefully a little better for Lainey before she as to go back again Monday. Have no doubt dear friends, how seriously ill your little sister is. Imagine the mental anguish she goes through everyday, and as I know you do please pray for her and me too to endure till the end, whether that’s the end of life in this system, or the end of this system , we all need Gods power to survive.

Love you all stay strong and manifest love, the identifying mark of true Christians.

I've turned the corner Keefer !

Dear friends it's Thursday morning and Lainey woke up feeling much better.She woke up at 7:15 and said "I've turned the corner Keefer !" Just a little improvement is such a big deal for us now. We'll have treatments today and tomorrow then have the weekend off, except she will take the medicine orally over the weekend YUK!
I have a little bit of a cold so iv'e been banned from passionate kissing BUMMER!
Will write more as things unfold, thanks for all your love and support, Keefer and Laineymum.

Lainey cheering up thanks to you all

Dear friends lainey is cheering up , thenks to the brotherhood/sisterhood.
Kate Kolodziej came to see us tonight, she used to live in Pleasanton, at our request she brought her 2 dogs, Lainey smiled for the first time in days.I read her your e-mails an blog postings , thank you thank you. Dad called from England, spoke to mum in Pleasanton, Mariola Polanski brought us dinner from a sister who we don't know, am getting e-mails from friends all over the world, what can i say THANK YOU, LOVE YOU, oh yes my friend Sam called me, (when the phone goes off it plays Austin Powers music, groovy baby), love you Sam.
Spoke to Lainey's bosom buddy Danille (Boonie) you rock Boonie !
Who else can i mention, oh yes thank you Jehovah , because if i hadn't come into your congregation i would not have met and known the most beautiful people in the world, WE LOVE ALL OF YOU, WITH YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT WE WILL ENDURE TILL THE END, sincerely Keefer and Laineymum.

Sun is shining lainey a bit better

Dear friends, the sun is shining in Reno,Lainey is fatigued but doing a little better.It's only been 1 week since her latest brutal chemo treatment so i hope as this week goes on she will feel gradually better.What we need the most as do all of us is association with our wonderful brothers and sisters.When one is forced into isolation one thinks how could anyone choose to isolate themselves?
We miss you all terribly and long to be home. I hope Lainey recovers to where she can go back to the Kingdom Hall, to be in Jehovah's house is the greatest priviledge, so never forsake the meetings friends. As Bro Howard once said , "if you feel like you're dieing go anyway, it's a good place to die, all your friends are there! " With that said we do need to show love and stay away when we are sick and infectious as that would not be kind or loving to make others ill.But the point is we need the meetings, we need each other, we need to stay close to the truth in these hard hard times.
Well i'd better close, please post or e-mail, i read all your comments to Lainey and it makes her feel better and loved, love you all Keefer.

Trouble with internet access

Dear friends we are up here in Reno, having problems with internet access, wrote a blog for 45 minutes this morning then lost access before i could post it. I will endeavor to post details in bits. Lainey doing a bit better. Started treatments yesterday. Infusions every day for 3 weeks. Staying at friends home, have never met them , they are away on vacation. They offered their house for us to stay in, so here we are in someone elses home, what wonderful people. Local friends are going to provide us meals, what wonderful love and compassion. Well i'll close now in case this post goes of into the mountains, love you all Keith.